Get Off Your Rocker

I feel like Newton’s Rocker (a.k.a. Newton’s cradle). You know, that little contraption that appears on every corporate office desk with the little wires holding a series of floating marbles suspended from a small metal pair of parallel bars, attached to a wooden plaque.

When someone is bored, and sees that little contraption, it is built into our minds, to gently pull back one of the marbles and set it in motion. They we watch as they click and clack. The rhythm can be peaceful or annoying, as you watch the first marble collide with the second, pushing the others ever so slightly, until the final marble is swung into the air by the force of the others. Then it repeats from the other direction.

Occasionally, I have been that first marble. The one that starts the rest in motion, the one with the energy that is contagious and forces the others to move along with it. Sometimes, I am that person with my community here. Other times, I am just the opposite, waiting for the force of the others around me to send me out of my comfort zone and into the air. With a push from the others, once I am in the air, I come back swinging, giving me my energy back. Then there are times that I am the marbles in the center. Being jostled around by either side from the force of the others around me. Here in the center, I am confused, even at times a little sad, but I am still in motion. I am still moving.

Lately, I would say I have been all of the marbles in Newton’s Rocker. Sometimes I switch between perspectives frequently, even multiple times a day. The theme, is that I stay in motion. I continue. Unending. Moving, always. Why?

If I am not physically moving, my mind continues. Day and night, in motion. When will the end come? When will the motion stop? When will rest actually be restful and uninterrupted? Is there a way to get off the rocker? Can I cut the pendulum? I don’t really want answers to any of these questions, they are just to get out of my mind. Don’t get me wrong, I love where I am and what I do, day in and day out, but I am still on the rocker and rest is not restful. I have kept writing this whole time, but have yet to post some of my writings, because I am not ready to share them. So please wait patiently and get off your rocker!