I grew up hearing the phrase “the first 100 days” used often when there was a transition of leadership in the White House. These first 100 days were crucial in the new president’s career. The first 100 days would set the tone for the rest of their time in office. When I thought about my first 100 days, here, I found some similarities. Though this is technically written on day 142 (I don’t keep track, I counted for this post), I thought I would share a little more about the first 100 days of my life overseas. Please note: everyone reacts to a new culture differently from the next person, so this is just my personal experience.
I think it is safe to say from my travel experience, this being the twenty-second country I have been to in my short life; I feel like a tourist for at least the first 30 days. During that first month, there is little assimilation to the new culture, but opportunity for well-rounded cultural experiences. You are probably going around with someone you know, or a tour guide, whether an official one or not, and seeing a glimpse of the normal tourist side of life in that place, as well as some of the local flare. For me, that was temples, markets, street food vendors, and learning the basic “survival phrases” in the language. These, of course, mixed with the scenic places that create that envious travel buzz on social media. All of this done, with and through your very American (or home country’s) culture perspective.
After 30 days
Soon after the first month, you seem to be pulled in one of two directions. The first, keeping up the life you have been. Traveling, eating, and living in a more western-style comfortable lifestyle (like the restaurants with actual buildings, finding places and people that know English), and doing things in the culture from the very American-norm perspective. The second direction is imitation. This is where you try too hard to be local, even with your very different skin tone (most-likely) and your home-country norms. From my observation, neither way is necessarily a healthy or realistic way of sustaining life overseas. It will end up having you feel foreign in both your home country and the place you are living.
Assimilation
What is the happy medium? The balance? Assimilation. Fully assimilating (not imitating), just through the lens of your home country, is what I have seen to be the best for long-term living in that new country. What does this look like? Well, again, it is different for each individual, but I can say from my experience is has been quite the learning curve. I don’t think I will be able to say, “I have fully assimilated to this culture” for a long time, maybe even years. However, I have been able to find a balance that works for me.
4 ways to Balance Culture Assimilation
Here are a few things I have learned in the first 100 days that I believe have set the tone for longevity in this country, for me.
- Have a purpose. Having a legitimate purpose for being here is the first thing that helps assimilation. For the first 3 months, no matter where I went, I was always asked “why are you here?” (or something to that extent). For me, I am a teacher. When I say I teach in this particular school, it almost brings comfort to the people asking, because they see you are not just a tourist, passing through. Having purpose makes it easier to build relationships with the people you will see on a frequent basis.
- Learn the language. Though people argue this one a lot, knowing even a little language makes a huge difference in being a part of the culture. You will not be fluent for at least 3-10 years, but knowing everyday phrases will get you a long way in this new culture. It will also help you mentally and emotionally not feel so disconnected from the culture.
- Embrace the “stretched” zone. If you had three concentric circles, the smallest being your comfort zone, the middle being your stretched zone, and the outermost circle being your retreat zone; you want to be in the stretched zone the most. This is where you grow. You are reaching outside your comfort zone, but also not stretching yourself too far, that you retreat back to that comfort zone. This will look different for everyone, however, it probably involves asking a lot of questions. Don’t be shy. This is how you will grow. Maybe it means holding conversations with locals, trying new places and foods, or being open to say yes to something you have never done before. Spending time being stretched will grow you closer to cultural assimilation.
- Admit to yourself when you need comforts of “home”. You are a foreigner in this a place that is unknown to you. There is no amount of time that will change that. You will do and say things in a way that is foreign, because you are foreign. Accept that. When you find yourself stretched too thin, uncomfortable, or just missing what you consider “normal”; admit it to yourself! It is okay! That is the balance. If you need to go watch a movie in English, eat a hamburger, or call someone and talk in your native language; don’t hesitate, do it! If you neglect that part of who you are, you are teetering on the edge of that “imitation” route, not assimilation. When you have enjoyed that comfort, go back out to that stretched zone and remember to keep the attitude of a learner in this foreign culture.
These are just 4 ways I have found to find that helpful balance during my time here. Am I an expert? Absolutely not! However, each day is filled with many new lessons and experiences. If you have experienced life in a new place, be sure to share your thoughts of how to assimilate well.
